about a year ago today,

i stood on the balding lawn at the top of some stairs located on cumberland road in holladay, utah. it was a little chilly and most likely too late to be standing there. i had received a phone call earlier that day from a boy who lived in provo. he informed me that he would be in salt lake for the weekend and was inquiring to know if i'd be available to "hang out". although i was hesitant to agree to this, and had enjoyed the last few months of hoards of new friends- and didn't plan on changing the everyday scene of meeting new people and realizing everyone knew everyone, i said yes.

i informed the boy that i already had plans to attend a waffle party, but he was invited to tag along if he would like. as i pulled up to his yellow house, a mini-van parked in front of my car was just about to pull away. i watched the woman place her child in the back and slide the door closed. as she walked around the side of her van she saw me. i desperately wished i had super powers to make my whole car, including myself invisible. as the boy approached my car, opened the door, and awkwardly sat down- the woman stopped, turned, re-opened the side door, removed her child and walked towards the open passenger door. she greeted me, "hello emily. it's so nice to meet you- andrew would like to say hi." and then, the cutest little voice said, "hi emmawee, i'm andwoo." and--i was scared. not because the little boy knew my name and i had no idea who he was, and not because the woman was really nice to a complete stranger(me), but only because i knew what this meant. this meant the boy had already told his family about me- i was already so unsure of even being in the same car as him, and now i knew it meant breaking his heart.

as we approached the party i warned the boy that, "i know most people here and i like to talk a lot, so i'm sorry if it feels like i'm ignoring you- i'm not, i just like to walk around." - but i was ignoring him. infact, i ignored him the entire night until it was time to exit the party and drive back to the yellow house. as i walked him to the stairs that led down to his "basement apartment", he stopped and turned. it was so dark i could see nothing but his quivering lower lip. i wondered if he was crying and immediately started rehearsing lines of an apology for ignoring him the whole night. instead, the boy said this, "i really think we should start going on dates. i just want to take you on some dates. would you be okay with that? can i just take you on some dates? i really think we should."

wow. what did he just say to me? i couldn't believe what i had just heard. i mostly couldn't believe it because i knew he was right. i was so completely hesitant and unsure of even being in his presence, but when those words escaped his lips i knew he was right- we did need to go on dates.

i responded more calmly than it had sounded in my head. i agreed to allow the boy to take me on some dates. and even though there would be more convincing to come- this is basically where it began and the "rest is history". i will never forget that powerful evening. i will never forget returning home that night, kneeling down to discuss my day with my Father in heaven, and knowing even moreso that i needed to go on some dates with the thankfully persistent boy, and.. i will never forgive myself for ignoring the boy i love that night at the waffle party.


i am so glad i had that conversation with that boy, on the lawn, at the top of the stairs- about a year ago.